five: the angelic pinkos
anagrams can be fun. sometimes a person’s name can result in an anagram that is frighteningly truthful. (here’s looking at you eager vandals and nerve, kink, sin.) my name yields some interesting ones, but most are pornographic in nature. splinting hoecake, slackening hoe pit, cheating skin pole, kneecap night oils. just to name a few.
sifting through the long, loooong list, i came across the angelic pinkos.
if i were ever to start a gang, this would be it. i’d send these postcards out to everyone i knew. when no one wanted to join, i’d scour the phonebook for random people with names i liked and invite them to join my gang. although, the name is awesome in theory, the more i think about it, this gang would be pretty boring. we’d meet once a month in someone’s attic (no basements here in florida) to wax poetic about the injustices of the world, but really just sympathize and complain. we’d probably sign up as a group to serve christmas dinner at a homeless shelter. the coolest thing about the gang would be our secret hand symbol used to identify each other in public. eventually the gang would disband from overwhelming lack of action.
i’d probably be pretty disappointed, but without this pesky gang around, i could focus all of my efforts on becoming a superhuman crusader. my superhero name? penis tackling hoe.